HEALING THE MOTHER WOUND
Today is mother’s day. for some it’s a day of celebration, warmth and love. for some it’s a painful day full of old wounds surfacing. which one is it for you?
I WANT YOU TO TAKE A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD WITH YOUR MOTHER
What did it look like? How did it/does feel? Is it good or sad times?
Mum’s are one of the most pivotal players in our growth as children. They help form the very foundation of our emotional and mental development. To this very day our mums or mother-like person continue to influence us both through our deeply ingrained perceptions of life and through our feelings towards ourselves and other people.
Bless our mothers for they tried their best to nurture us. Consciously or unconsciously some mothers have left deep wounds in their children. – Laced with shame, guilt and obligation.
I just thought I mention this before I continue with this blog. I am writing this blog on the day that should be positive, representing love and nurturing. I am the voice of many who feel it more profoundly today. This is not about making you feel bad it’s about finding some healing of this trauma or wound that resides in your heart and mind.
WHAT IS THE MOTHER WOUND?
The Mother Wound is yearning for your mother’s love.
Its unresolved grief, fear, disappointment and resentment towards our mothers long into our adult lives. This deep pain is usually the result of unhealed wounds that are passed on from generation to generation. These wounds consist of toxic and oppressive beliefs, ideals, perceptions and choices.
If you suffer from the Mother Wound you will experience some of the following challenges:
- Sabotaging yourself when you experience happiness or success
- Possessing undefined personal boundaries.
- Cannot say NO and being too submissive
- Self-blaming and low self-esteem. Feeling inadequate
- Co-dependency relationships
- Playing small to be likable and accepted
- The inability to speak up
- Not in touch with yourself – numb
- Self-Sacrificing for other people unnecessarily
- Waiting for your mother’s permission on an unconscious level to truly live life
LET’S EXPLORE WHERE DOES THE MOTHER WOUND COME FROM
Women have lived under patriarchal reign for centuries. This very patriarchal society and religions have been instrumental in defining a cultural ideal of what motherhood “should” be.
Because of unrealistic standards, women abandon their dreams, lock away their desires and stifle their needs to strive towards this cultural ideal. This repression is stifling for most women, breeding anger, depression and anxiety, which is then passed on to their children through subtle – or even aggressive – forms of emotional abandonment and manipulation (such as shame, guilt and obligation). This is the Mother Wound!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming our mothers. It’s getting to understand the mother wound a little better. The good news is that you can learn to understand, repair and heal the wounded parts of you.
It’s vital to remember that our mothers are human with flaws. The sooner we embrace this reality, the better. They are not super-women. We would like them to be. It’s an impossible task. We must understand how much our mothers have gone through in the face of these oppressive ideals and unrealistic expectations. It is important that we realize that our mothers have their own wounds as a result. So, they cannot be perfect, (we not perfect too) no matter how hard they try. Do you get this? It’s crucial that you understand this. This is a great way towards forgiveness.
3 STEPS TO HEALING THE MOTHER WOUND
Healing the Mother Wound is a great way to embark on the awakening of the divine feminine within you (this subject is for another blog).
As a woman and a little girl who carries a very deep Mother Wound, I have experienced just how lonely and saddening it can be to feel the emotional and mental absence of your mother. I want to share with you three tips that will help you on your healing path (it has helped me and is still healing me):
- LEARN TO SEE YOUR MOTHER AS A PERSON
Say it with me – My mother is a person first then she is my mother. It’s a very essential part of healing. She has had a lifetime of pain and joy before she became your mum. She too was a young girl full of dreams and desires. Discover that aspect of her to see her a whole being and not just your mother. Being your mum is just one part of her. Find your mother’s life story.
- LET GO OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR MOTHER.
What are your expectations: “my mother should always be available,” “my mother should be my best friend,” “my mother should always love me,” and so forth?
STOP! Just stop waiting around to receive the love, support and validation of your mother. You know this – you can never change who she is! As you slowly learn to let go of this expectation, the healing begins.
- CHANGE YOUR STORY.
Change your story by being a mother to yourself. Learning to love and nurture the wounded parts of yourself. Caring, seeing and giving voice to your inner child or wounded parts. Learning how to love yourself is a very powerful thing. On this journey, you will discover immense amount of healing and resourcefulness. Your wounds will dissolve into a greater compassion for life and yourself. Your start creating a new inner story with a profound inner acceptance.
Over to you …
Healing the Mother Wound within you will transform your life in amazing ways. You will be able to build healthier relationships with yourself and others. Feel more connected. Learn to live and enjoy life.
So, share with me below: what was life like with your mother? Do you still carry the Mother Wound? Would you like to heal your inner child pain and wounds? Get in Touch with us for a complimentary Get Clarity Coaching Session to determine how we can help you heal from the mother wound
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