Get Your Groove On with Happy Songs
Dance your blues away with Happy songs.
I dare you: Let your happy song flow from your heart.
Here is my Happy Songs playlist. These songs uplift my mood, brings a smile to my face and my body comes alive.
My blog is mainly focused on being happy and living happy. But things are changing… I want to take a moment to reflect on something that’s important to me and has become part of my core message and belief:
My big vision is to change the outlook on curvy bodies. I would like girls with curves to wear clothes that someone with their body type typically doesn’t, with confidence.
My mission is to impact women lives by inspiring women to feel comfortable in their own skin. Aspire to be their true powerful self.
I get so many compliments and enquiries on how I achieved confidence, and how I stay body positive, in a world where we’re made to feel as if we don’t deserve to be stylish and beautiful, due to our size. In a world where our size is viewed so negatively
I started thinking about Rocking your Curves (body confidence), and how to define it.
I started to reflect on ways I’ve built my own body confidence through the years. Considering my own personal struggle to accept my natural curves most of my life. Battle with emotional eating, excessive exercise, cycle of weight loss and weight gain, I thought it was time to share my personal style of rocking my curves.
Many women, like yourself, who are uncomfortable with their bodies, avoid looking at themself in the mirror, especially in the nude. There is highly possibility seeing yourself in the nude can change your perception of your body, radically! We mean the positive way.
Let’s try an experiment and see what happens. Do your hair and makeup in the nude and then look at yourself in the mirror. Do this maybe twice a week for 3 weeks. Trust me, it will start to change the way you see and look at your body. This will help you become more comfortable facing yourself in the mirror. This way to will get used to seeing your reflection without any judgements
Yes, I talk to myself all the time. No, I am not a crazy person- I know you talk to yourself too!
We tend to focus on what we don’t like about ourselves. We judge ourselves to the point where we dislike sometimes hate our bodies. But instead of critical thoughts, focus on what you like about yourself, having positive thoughts about your body and looks.
Tell yourself how proud you are that your body can do. Maybe you’re a new mom and although there are things about your post-baby body you’re still trying to deal with, be proud that your body carried a new life. You gave birth to an amazing little person.
Maybe you dislike showing your arms, but you’re a brilliant baker, so you should be thankful for those strong arms that can whip up a delicious dessert like nobody’s business! By now I’m sure you’ve gotten the point.
Whatever your body hang-ups are, find a way to change/reframe the negative into a positive. (like we did above).
Next time when you with a group of ladies, there will at some point be body-bashing conversation. Turn the conversation around by mentioning what you like about your body. Discuss the things you love about your bodies vs. the things you loathe. This will change the tone of the conversation and as well make it upbeat. The positivity will spread like wildfire
Let’s get real. We live in the real world of chores, jobs, kids, traffic, cooking, cleaning…
It’s impossible to look like models or celebrities all the time – Perfect skin, hair, clothes. Real women have freckles, uneven skin tones, stretch marks, cellulite, etc. No one is perfect, so please don’t set these idealistic standard of beauty for yourself.
Aspire to be the best version of yourself, not the unrealistic ideals of beauty and body we see in the media. Redefine your version of beauty and body. What works for you!
The fashion police are always investigating fashion crimes by celebrities. These so-called fashion crimes are transferred to the public through gossip magazines, websites or TV. This behaviour becomes acceptable way of viewing celebrities, people and ultimately the one you see in the mirror. Instead of looking for serious flaws, give a compliment, and mean it! Celebrate the flaws!
Over time, you’ll start to compliment yourself and appreciate your flaws. Its will cool to be FLAWSOME!
Looking good to make yourself feel good may not seem right. But It’s a great start. For most of us, making the effort to look good, makes us feel good internally. Great booster for your confidence! Remember it’s a great way to start feeling good about your body and yourself. Feeling good about yourself is so much more than the clothes you wear.
For you, that might mean going au naturel on the daily, or never leaving the house without a full face of makeup. Either way, try to take care of yourself in the ways that make you feel good. Go the extra mile and paint your nails, get a weekly blow out, learn to do a perfect top knot- whatever it is that makes you feel amazing, do that! Find a formula that works for you.
I used to be very fearful in the past when people would look my way. I thought they were laughing at me, or how weird my highlights looked on hair or if my clothes were hideous. Now, when I catch somebody looking at me, I smile at them and nod my head. At the same time, my heart is pounding and my nerves are shot.
Smiling sends a message to your mind to feel good and in turn your body into thinking you feel confident and amazing. The heart beat slows down, the body is calm. Adds a little sparkle to face and a spring in your step.
I WANT YOU TO TAKE A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD WITH YOUR MOTHER
What did it look like? How did it/does feel? Is it good or sad times?
Mum’s are one of the most pivotal players in our growth as children. They help form the very foundation of our emotional and mental development. To this very day our mums or mother-like person continue to influence us both through our deeply ingrained perceptions of life and through our feelings towards ourselves and other people.
Bless our mothers for they tried their best to nurture us. Consciously or unconsciously some mothers have left deep wounds in their children. – Laced with shame, guilt and obligation.
I just thought I mention this before I continue with this blog. I am writing this blog on the day that should be positive, representing love and nurturing. I am the voice of many who feel it more profoundly today. This is not about making you feel bad it’s about finding some healing of this trauma or wound that resides in your heart and mind.
The Mother Wound is yearning for your mother’s love.
Its unresolved grief, fear, disappointment and resentment towards our mothers long into our adult lives. This deep pain is usually the result of unhealed wounds that are passed on from generation to generation. These wounds consist of toxic and oppressive beliefs, ideals, perceptions and choices.
Women have lived under patriarchal reign for centuries. This very patriarchal society and religions have been instrumental in defining a cultural ideal of what motherhood “should” be.
Because of unrealistic standards, women abandon their dreams, lock away their desires and stifle their needs to strive towards this cultural ideal. This repression is stifling for most women, breeding anger, depression and anxiety, which is then passed on to their children through subtle – or even aggressive – forms of emotional abandonment and manipulation (such as shame, guilt and obligation). This is the Mother Wound!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming our mothers. It’s getting to understand the mother wound a little better. The good news is that you can learn to understand, repair and heal the wounded parts of you.
It’s vital to remember that our mothers are human with flaws. The sooner we embrace this reality, the better. They are not super-women. We would like them to be. It’s an impossible task. We must understand how much our mothers have gone through in the face of these oppressive ideals and unrealistic expectations. It is important that we realize that our mothers have their own wounds as a result. So, they cannot be perfect, (we not perfect too) no matter how hard they try. Do you get this? It’s crucial that you understand this. This is a great way towards forgiveness.
Healing the Mother Wound is a great way to embark on the awakening of the divine feminine within you (this subject is for another blog).
As a woman and a little girl who carries a very deep Mother Wound, I have experienced just how lonely and saddening it can be to feel the emotional and mental absence of your mother. I want to share with you three tips that will help you on your healing path (it has helped me and is still healing me):
Say it with me – My mother is a person first then she is my mother. It’s a very essential part of healing. She has had a lifetime of pain and joy before she became your mum. She too was a young girl full of dreams and desires. Discover that aspect of her to see her a whole being and not just your mother. Being your mum is just one part of her. Find your mother’s life story.
What are your expectations: “my mother should always be available,” “my mother should be my best friend,” “my mother should always love me,” and so forth?
STOP! Just stop waiting around to receive the love, support and validation of your mother. You know this – you can never change who she is! As you slowly learn to let go of this expectation, the healing begins.
Change your story by being a mother to yourself. Learning to love and nurture the wounded parts of yourself. Caring, seeing and giving voice to your inner child or wounded parts. Learning how to love yourself is a very powerful thing. On this journey, you will discover immense amount of healing and resourcefulness. Your wounds will dissolve into a greater compassion for life and yourself. Your start creating a new inner story with a profound inner acceptance.
Healing the Mother Wound within you will transform your life in amazing ways. You will be able to build healthier relationships with yourself and others. Feel more connected. Learn to live and enjoy life.
So, share with me below: what was life like with your mother? Do you still carry the Mother Wound? Would you like to heal your inner child pain and wounds? Get in Touch with us for a complimentary Get Clarity Coaching Session to determine how we can help you heal from the mother wound
Courage creates Confidence! It sounds upside-down, right? I am sure you are thinking that confidence gives you courage. Let’s explore this a little more.
Everybody wants more Confidence. It’s been said, published that confidence enables us to tackle life’s challenges with more certainty and clarity. With CONFIDENCE, we can do more, be more and live more … right?
While there’s no question that confidence is a valuable attribute, there is another quality, often undervalued, that may well be even more effective. In fact, it might just be the key to building truly sustainable confidence! COURAGE…
Confidence: A feeling of self-assurance. A state or quality of being certain. The feeling or belief in one’s own abilities or qualities.
Courage: The ability to do something that even when you scared. Act on one’s beliefs despite danger or disapproval. The ability to do something that you know is right or good, even though it can be the most difficult thing.
Confidence lives in the comfort zone. It loves to operate within the realm of safety. It excels in what is known. This where confidence thrives. The power and certainty is based on past experiences and a build-up of achievements over time. This comfort zone is limiting. Let me give you an example. A person can be extremely confident at a task, but at the same time avoid trying a very different type of work because they don’t want to risk appearing foolish.
Now Courage is the willingness to try new different things. Take action even if we are not feeling sure of ourselves. For example, leaving a successful profession to strike out on your own requires great courage. If you’re painfully shy, learning to speak up at meetings or social functions is courageous. True courage is the willingness to risk discomfort. Doing things while being scared. We break-up with fear and move forward, building boat loads of confidence along the way.
In my opinion, courage is the most important trait for developing resilience and creating positive change in your life. Courage provides the commitment that you need to start change and the passion stay on your path during times of doubt and insecurity. Life is unpredictable and can create roadblocks on our path when we least expect it. Only courage can take you forward.
It’s so easy to YES to life. No can be very challenging and tricky. No offends yet we forget that it also protects us. Learning to say No builds courage and confidence. Saying No helps you from making poor decisions. This tactic can help you stay focused and prevent unnecessary complexity and wrong turns.
2. Bend, Don’t Break
Learning to flexible and adaptable to life challenges and roadblocks build courage and resilience. This in turn makes one confident. You will be like a bamboo during storms. The roots are firmly in the ground but the bamboo bends in the direction of the wind. They rarely break. Changing your game plan and letting go will be easy, when things don’t go your way.
3. Saying NO
Choose one thing that you have been avoiding. The one thing that makes you uncomfortable. Write down what do you need to do to take the next step. Maybe reading more about it or asking for help. This way an understanding can be developed about the situation.
Starting today, why not challenge yourself to celebrate each encounter with fear as an opportunity to strengthen your courage muscles and grow your confidence
Yes! You are reading correctly. I know it sounds unrealistic and sounds too good to be true Let me elaborate.
Every day we experience life. These experiences develop into little stories. The stories that impact us the most (positive and negative) are stored internally. They entail details of our experiences, about people, places and about life in general. The stories significantly impact how we feel. If the stories are positive, we tend to feel good. If the stories are negative, we tend to lose hope.
The stories we tell ourselves don’t just influence how we feel – they alter what we see, what we experience, and what we know to be true. This is one of the primary reasons multiple people can go through the same experience, but explain it differently. E.g. People witness the same accident but the details will be different – feeling, colour, texture, behaviour, etc. Each of us may enter a shared experience with a different story echoing through our mind. Our unique story – our inner dialogue – alters the way we feel every step of the way, and so each of us exits this shared experience with a slightly different feeling about what just happened.
If we want to get on the same page with one another, and garner a better understanding of reality, we must do a little work.
Our wide-range of different painful past experiences: Being deeply heartbroken, lost our parents, siblings or children to accidents and illnesses, dealt with infidelity, fired from jobs discriminated against for various reasons, being bullied, etc. At times, we experience a situation that triggers our painful story from the past, it shifts our perspective in the present – it narrows it.
It’s just a defence mechanism to protect us from uncertainty and fear. Our mind does not like the discomfort of uncertainty and fear. So, our mind uses the information from our past stories to eliminate the doubts and fears. Our old stories and past experiences are filters to make better sense of everything in the present. And while this approach works sometimes, other times our old stories and past experiences hinder us.
This is where a little reframing helps us move forward. Reframing tools have been proven to change our thoughts and stretch our perspectives. Today, I want to take a brief look at one of these reframing tools with you…
Many of the biggest misunderstandings in life could be avoided if we would simply take the time to ask, Is there another side to the story.
“There is a real possibility that …” can be applied to any life situation,
For example, perhaps your boyfriend didn’t call you in the morning like they said they would. You’re feeling upset because you’re obviously not important to him. When you catch, yourself feeling this way, use the phrase:
“The story I am telling myself is that he didn’t call me because I’m not important to him.”
Then ask yourself:
Give yourself the space to think it all through with an open mind and kindness.
“I don’t know why he has not called yet, but there is a real possibility that…”
“There is a real possibility that…” and the three related questions gives you a tool for revisiting and reframing confusing situations that arise in your life. Detach yourself from the stories you’re telling yourself. Go deeper into reality. Don’t just look at the surface. Explore. Observe without presuming. Discover. With an objective mindset, which allows you to make better decisions and choices about everything.
“Who knows what you’ll see when you stop looking through a lens drastically narrowed by half-truths, and you start seeing things with a clearer mind. Maybe you’ll start seeing things you never saw before. Maybe you’ll start experiencing things you never experienced before. Maybe you’ll learn lots of new lessons you needed to learn. And maybe you’ll gradually become the person you always knew you could be.”
At the very least, I hope this post reminds you that positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time – it’s about accepting what happens every moment, being aware and objective, and making the very best of every situation.
Oh darling! These words feel so cosy and comfortable. They may have been your friend or foe for a long time. Depends your relationship with them.
This world of flaws may seem big but in fact you have been living very small.
In the world of Flaws, it can be debilitating and limiting. Its creates stories that keep you back in life and not allow you to try new things or engage with new people. The inner voice of fears, failures and fat is very tricky and naughty. Conjuring up stories to convince you that you are broken and need to be fixed. A few of the stories that live in the world of Flaws are:
I am so fat
I am ugly
I am not pretty
I am such a failure and looser
I earn little money
I have such a small house
My thighs are so fat.
I am boring
I am so weak
I am not educated enough
I am not smart enough
I am plain Jane
I hate myself for not being able to say no
I haven’t handled that situation very well.
People don’t like me…..
Do some of the stories in the world of Flaws seem as your own?
All our “flaws” are based on our own interpretations and perspectives. We fixate about certain aspects of our body, our appearance, our personality, our life, our work and consider them as “flawed.”
We all experience a sense of feeling flawed in certain aspects of our lives and at times in life. It’s a natural human condition. There is absolutely nothing wrong feeling this way. We all want to feel whole and have a sense of belonging. But, feeling flawed can rob us of our energy, our passion, our happiness, our confidence, and living our life. It’s one of the most painful ways to live and can result in a very dissatisfied life.
So, you see living in the world of Flaws is not so wonderful!!!
In the world of Flawsome we are flawed and fabulous at the same time. And it’s a great place to be. Now you must be curious how can one be flawed and fab at once. Well you can …
Step 1 Lets get real about your flaws
Acknowledge the limitations, weaknesses, faults, failings, inadequacies, imperfections, shortcomings. We just bringing them to light without judgement. We are not running away or avoiding them anymore. There is a personal power and freedom in acknowledging them.
Step 2 Feeling the Flaws
Express your underlying feelings for your perceived flaws. Is it fear or shame? Do you feel angry about something at work or with your career? Sad about people treating you badly? All these feelings create a sense discomfort, pain and unease. In these situations, we tend to suppress our emotions. The memory of the painful situation gets bottled up. By giving these feelings a voice you can unhook and unlock from the memory of the situation.
Step 3 Love being Flawsome
View your flaws with kindness and compassion. Love your flaws – this creates a safe space to accept our flaws and give us the courage to change our mindset about them. It allows healing and creates place for new possibilities, new stories to be told.
A world in which we can adore our flaws and fab side by side. Where the light and dark co-exist. Where we can love our fears, failures & fat. Being whole. Exploring, Discovering, Becoming. Where there is a possibility of living, large and light.
Would you like to live there?
The power of I am really makes you feel great or makes you feel totally yukkie.
The power of I am can make your day or spoil your day
The power of I am can make a day of wonder or a day of disappointment
The power of I am can create adventures or leave you on the side-lines
The power of I am can create meaning or leaves you empty
The power of I am ……….what?
What is your I am? Does it empower you or discourage you?
I AM is one of the most important aspect of self-belief. It’s the driving factor in life. The ‘I AM’ decides which road to take. How the journey will be. Which spot to stop to look and admire. Which spot to drive pass and just take a glance. Sometimes just looking at the road and missing the beauty of the journey and drive. The ‘I AM’ determines how fast you go. You pass a detour – ‘I AM’ will decide to navigate the unknown route or just take the safe path. Within comfort zones.
Throughout life you’ve been through conditioning that created a mind-set overflowing with I am nots. As a schoolchild with a less than satisfactory grades, you thought to yourself, I am not smart. You place anywhere other than number one and tell yourself, I am not talented. You get told over & over that you have such great potential for all your projects. Never a word of well done. You feel criticized and believe that I am not good at anything!
You look in the mirror and compare yourself to a glamorous models tell yourself, I am not beautiful. You not asked out to the prom and you think, I am unloved or I am unworthy. These, and many many more like these I am nots, are repeated throughout your developmental years and into adulthood, and become your ingrained core defining self-perception.
Overcoming this I am not attitude begins with trusting your inner world. There are no boundaries restricting your inner world. But your worldview and your self-concept in the outer world are defined by your five senses.
How to get in touch with your I AM ….
Eg. Instead of I am incapable of getting a job, shift to I am capable.
I am unlucky in love is replaced by I am love.
I am unworthy of happiness becomes I am happiness.
‘I am a Laughter & Happiness coach” said I when asked at a social function what do I do. The person just smiled and giggled. If mentioning my career can make a person chuckle, imagine what a Laughter Workshops can do for you.
When have you really laughed your heart out! It makes one ponder. Gosh it could have been a very long time. There are rare gems amongst us who laugh their hearts out most of the time. Hooray to them!
We have lost this most amazing natural talent. It’s a sad situation! We have been programmed to be serious, prim & proper. Humans have become intense, serious and somewhat lonely. In the process we have suppressed our inner spirit of laughter. This inner spirit of joy and laughter can be awakened again by simply laughing.
One does not need humour or jokes to laugh. Just laugh for no reason at all. Don’t think about it, just laugh! Fake it if you have to! Fake it until you make it! The subconscious mind does not know the difference. The effects are the same. Laughter reduces loneliness, connects each other, increases self-confidence, and improves enthusiasm and sense of well being!
A good hearty laughter is a valuable technique for emotional catharsis. Laughter Coaching is a physical way of releasing pent-up feelings and repressed emotions by accentuating diaphragmatic movement and changing the breathing pattern. Laughter unleashes inhibitions, breaks down barriers so that it opens the heart to new views and possibilities.
2. Stress & fear
In our modern lifestyles we are always chasing something. This something will give us joy when we get it. As life happens at times we get sad, disappointed, fearful, stressed and powerless. Fear and stress have power over lives in a profound way. Coping with these life challenges can be extremely strenuous.
Fear is the mind killer. It makes us into slaves of all the stressful emotions that spring from fear. It stifles our immune system, which can make us ill and keep us from healing. The cure for fear is love and laughter. Pure, unconditional laughter is the medicine for what ails us in life. A good laugh diffuses these stressful emotions by relaxing the body boosting the immune system. Cortisol and adrenaline, the toxic hormones (created by stress & fear) are reduced considerably. The feel good hormone Endorphin are released, giving us the good feel factor. Laughter changes us for the better!
3. A Laughter Coaching Session
The foremost requirement is that we leave our logical, rational and intellectual adult-self at home. All you to bring is your child-like innocent playful self. There is clapping, singing and laughing. We scuttle around showing imaginary credit card bill bursting into laughter. Next we listen to a made-up cellphone story, scurry around shaking people’s hands. It may feel a wee bit ridiculous. At times embarrassing! Some laughter exercises are eccentric while others unbecoming and peculiar. Some people cackle, some give the sceptical whimsical snort while others have a rumbling roaring laughter. Absolutely fun, social and contagious!
The second element breathing exercises. The breathing exercises come naturally while doing the laughing yoga exercises. Breathing is fundamental to having a good healthy mind and body. Breathing is a function most us take for granted. We have lost the natural art of breathing. Laughter Coaching uses the art of laughing with deep yogic breathing to promote correct breathing.
Laughter is the quickest and effortless way of regulating breathing and increasing the net supply of oxygen by exhaling longer and flushing the lungs. It brings more oxygen to the blood and to the brain. Breathing controls the Prana (life force) and revitalizes the body.
When under stress, strain and depression, our oxygen level diminishes and breathing becomes faster, shallow and irregular. Sometimes people hold their breath under stress which leads to accumulation of carbon dioxide in the blood. A laughter exercise encompasses the principles of deep diaphragmatic breathing which is the easiest way to counter unhealthy effects of physical, mental and emotional stress.
By the end of the laughter coaching session one is wondering if it was the combination of oxygen and endorphins or simply amazed at all the crazy things done with a group of total strangers that had one laughing/crying or both. The child-like playfulness is the laughter tonic re-vitalising and re-awakening of the inner spirit of laughter.