Archive for BIG WHY

High5 to a NEW YOU 2020

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 January 8, 2020
Art of Happiness Institute

‘Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities’  Gloria Steinem

High5 to a NEW YOU 2020

I love the New Year or new beginnings. I get all excited to about the possibilities in life. A time for renewed hope and dreams. It is time for celebrations. Can you feel the excitement? Exhilaration? I am absolutely invigorated. I love the lightness that invoke a sense of brightness. We into the 2nd week of January 2020 already.

I am sure you have received tons of email about New Year 2020: change your life, transform your life, make it the best year ever, 5 steps to maintain New Year resolutions, 3 steps to create a new life in 2020 and many more telling you how to awesome 2020 can be. They all mean well and it’s great to have coaches, bloggers, and mentors to guide and encourage you. These emails can excite or sometimes it can create a feeling of overwhelming proportion when the mountain ahead of us appears too large to summit.

Let’s take a step back. Clear our minds of:

1) What should be and how it should.
2) All the stories you have been telling yourself since it’s the New Year.
3) Are you feeling the pressure when people ask what are the plans for 2020

Step 1 – Set your intention

Reflect on 2019. What lessons have you learnt? Are there some things that will continue in the New Year? Do you still want the same things? What do you want in life? It all starts with what you want in life. Then you have the choice in creating what you want in life. What is your deepest desires? What does your heart yearn for? It starts from the heart. Think about what it is you want. Think & Feel your intentions.  Set your intention. It’s a great starting point.

Step 2 – List your dreams

Be bold and big. Write down every dream you can think of. From a dream date with your favourite movie star to owning a Ferrari. Submitting Mount Everest or going to Cordon Blue School in Paris. Travelling to Amazon jungle to volunteering for WHO. Stop analysing just write it all down. There is no wrong or right dream. If you have thoughts this is not me or this is not for me. Just ignore them for now. Select one to three dreams from the list. The ones where the music is clear and booming.

Step 3 – The BIG WHY

Now read the dreams aloud. Sensing and feeling when you read each dream out loud. Write how this dream would transform your life. For example, owning your own business can give you financial security or financial freedom. It can empower you buy your dream home. It can make you feel independent, talented, successful, have your own personal identity. Think if your dream came true, how you would feel. What would change in your life as a result of your aspirations coming alive? This is Your BIG WHY! Why do you want this dream to come alive? The BIG WHY is the key ingredient to keep you motivated and committed to the dream when you feel like giving up.

Step 4 – See Your New Life

Sit quietly and reflect as if the dream has already come alive. Live in the happiness, the success and whatever feeling the dream invokes. Picture where your friends, where you are, how does the environment and atmosphere feel. Imagine having the correct people and things to make your wish to come true. How does it look, feel, taste, and smell? Sense the dream as if it’s already part of your life. Feel the BIG Why. Listen to your body for messages for how to achieve the dream. Hear the music inside you. Release struggle and resistance. Let there be happiness, ease and flow in your visualisation.

Step 5 – Take the first step

All things are achieved one action at a time. BE BIG & BOLD take the first step.

Each day each step adds up, and just like putting one foot, one step ahead of the other on your path, soon you will be on the top of the mountain, looking down at your accomplishment with self-satisfaction and self-respect.

I’m here today to help you plant the flag in the top of your mountain, by encouraging you to take the first step. Why not you!? You were born for greatness. You were born to impact this world. Dare to leave your mark. Your Legacy! Dare to Dream. You have a dream inside of you that only you can achieve.

So, what will your first step be today?

NEW YOU 2018

To THE NEW YOU in Year 2020!

Cheers

 

 

 

11 Girl Boss Ignite Your Spirit Must Read Books

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 22, 2018
GIRLBOSS MUST READ BOOKS

Books! Books! Books! I love books

Holding a book, smelling its woody pages, sucking up the cover art and reading the personalised preface and acknowledgments. Wow! It invokes the imagination. It tantalises the senses and teases the brain.

Every word telling a story, transporting you to different realms and dimensions. Its invigorates the soul and spirit with every turn and twist of the words building into a story. Some words silently while others loudly blatantly thrilling, exciting, teasing as it reaches the depth of our beings.

I love romantic, psychological thrillers and obsessed with self-development books. I am a sucker for motivational types and all things that help me expand. I love to marinate in inspiration through books, specifically breakdown internal barriers, help instil vision and clarity and ignite your spirit type books.

If you’re a book type gal, I invite you to be inquisitive about them below. While I haven’t read all of them yet, I personally own all of them, and am steadily making my way through the stack. Each book was purchased either through a podcast, a blog post or a friend’s suggestion – I’m finding that the combined message between them all is, so you can get out there in the world and do what matters to you in ways that work for you.

The authors are helping readers learn to live it through vulnerability, creativity, heart, accountability and community.

So without further ado, below are 11 Inspirational, Girl Boss, Ignite Your Soul, Must-Read Books:

  1. Big Magic                                by Elizabeth Gilbert
  2. Playing Big                              by Tara Mohr
  3. Rising Strong                         by Brene Brown
  4. Leave Your Mark                   by Aliza Light
  5. The Universe has your Back   by Gabrielle Bernstein
  6. The Desire Map                      by Danielle LePort
  7. #Girlboss                                 by Sophia Amenise
  8. Make it Happen                      by Lara Casey
  9. You are a Badass                    by Jen Sincero
  10. Good to Great                         by Jim Collins
  11. The Confidence Code            by Kathy Kay & Claire Shipman

Alright girl bosses, are you feeling motivated and exhilarated?

You sure must be, because just writing this makes me want to read nonstop. Become a ferocious reader! Such Fun!

I hope you gathered some great inspiration here, possibly intrigued by a book or two. And are now starting on the incredible journey of creation, confidence, greatness, vulnerability, recognizing your self-worth, helping to create a vision for braver living, loving, and leading.

High5 to a New You Year 2018

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 January 16, 2018
new you 2018

‘Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities’  Gloria Steinem

High5 to a NEW YOU 2018

I love the New Year or new beginnings. I get all excited to about the possibilities in life. A time for renewed hope and dreams. It is time for celebrations. Can you feel the excitement? Exhilaration? I am absolutely invigorated. I love the lightness that invoke a sense of brightness. We into the 3rd week of January 2018 already.

I am sure you have received tons of email about New Year 2018: change your life, transform your life, make it the best year ever, 5 steps to maintain New Year resolutions, 3 steps to create a new life in 2018 and many more telling you how to awesome 2018 can be. They all mean well and it’s great to have coaches, bloggers, and mentors to guide and encourage you. These emails can excite or sometimes it can create a feeling of overwhelming proportion when the mountain ahead of us appears too large to summit.

Let’s take a step back. Clear our minds of:

1) What should be and how it should.
2) All the stories you have been telling yourself since it’s the New Year.
3) Are you feeling the pressure when people ask what are the plans for 2018

Step 1 – Set your intention

Reflect on 2017. What lessons have you learnt? Are there some things that will continue in the New Year? Do you still want the same things? What do you want in life? It all starts with what you want in life. Then you have the choice in creating what you want in life. What is your deepest desires? What does your heart yearn for? It starts from the heart. Think about what it is you want. Think & Feel your intensions. Set your intention. It’s a great starting point.

Step 2 – List your dreams

Be bold and big. Write down every dream you can think of. From a dream date with your favourite movie star to owning a Ferrari. Submitting Mount Everest or going to Cordon Blue School in Paris. Travelling to Amazon jungle to volunteering for WHO. Stop analysing just write it all down. There is no wrong or right dream. If you have thoughts this is not me or this is not for me. Just ignore them for now. Select one to three dreams from the list. The ones where the music is clear and booming.

Step 3 – The BIG WHY

Now read the dreams aloud. Sensing and feeling when you read each dream out loud. Write how this dream would transform your life. For example, owning your own business can give you financial security or financial freedom. It can empower you buy your dream home. It can make you feel independent, talented, successful, have your own personal identity. Think if your dream came true, how you would feel. What would change in your life as a result of your aspirations coming alive? This is Your BIG WHY! Why do you want this dream to come alive? The BIG WHY is the key ingredient to keep you motivated and committed to the dream when you feel like giving up.

Step 4 – See Your New Life

Sit quietly and reflect as if the dream has already come alive. Live in the happiness, the success and whatever feeling the dream invokes. Picture where your friends, where you are, how does the environment and atmosphere feel. Imagine having the correct people and things to make your wish to come true. How does it look, feel, taste, and smell? Sense the dream as if it’s already part of your life. Feel the BIG Why. Listen to your body for messages for how to achieve the dream. Hear the music inside you. Release struggle and resistance. Let there be happiness, ease and flow in your visualisation.

Step 5 – Take the first step

All things are achieved one action at a time. BE BIG & BOLD take the first step.

Each day each step adds up, and just like putting one foot, one step ahead of the other on your path, soon you will be on the top of the mountain, looking down at your accomplishment with self-satisfaction and self-respect.

I’m here today to help you plant the flag in the top of your mountain, by encouraging you to take the first step. Why not you!? You were born for greatness. You were born to impact this world. Dare to leave your mark. Your Legacy! Dare to Dream. You have a dream inside of you that only you can achieve.

So, what will your first step be today?

NEW YOU 2018

To THE NEW YOU 2018

 

 

 

Courage Creates Confidence

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 May 12, 2017
Courage Creates Confidence

Courage Creates Confidence

Courage creates Confidence! It sounds upside-down, right? I am sure you are thinking that confidence gives you courage. Let’s explore this a little more.

Everybody wants more Confidence. It’s been said, published that confidence enables us to tackle life’s challenges with more certainty and clarity. With CONFIDENCE, we can do more, be more and live more … right?

While there’s no question that confidence is a valuable attribute, there is another quality, often undervalued, that may well be even more effective. In fact, it might just be the key to building truly sustainable confidence! COURAGE…

Let’s define Confidence and Courage:

Confidence: A feeling of self-assurance. A state or quality of being certain. The feeling or belief in one’s own abilities or qualities.

Courage: The ability to do something that even when you scared. Act on one’s beliefs despite danger or disapproval. The ability to do something that you know is right or good, even though it can be the most difficult thing.

Courage Creates Confidence

Confidence lives in the comfort zone. It loves to operate within the realm of safety. It excels in what is known. This where confidence thrives. The power and certainty is based on past experiences and a build-up of achievements over time. This comfort zone is limiting. Let me give you an example. A person can be extremely confident at a task, but at the same time avoid trying a very different type of work because they don’t want to risk appearing foolish.

Now Courage is the willingness to try new different things. Take action even if we are not feeling sure of ourselves. For example, leaving a successful profession to strike out on your own requires great courage. If you’re painfully shy, learning to speak up at meetings or social functions is courageous. True courage is the willingness to risk discomfort. Doing things while being scared. We break-up with fear and move forward, building boat loads of confidence along the way.

In my opinion, courage is the most important trait for developing resilience and creating positive change in your life. Courage provides the commitment that you need to start change and the passion stay on your path during times of doubt and insecurity. Life is unpredictable and can create roadblocks on our path when we least expect it. Only courage can take you forward.

3 ways to be Courageous

courage

  1. Taking it one step at a time  

It’s so easy to YES to life. No can be very challenging and tricky. No offends yet we forget that it also protects us. Learning to say No builds courage and confidence. Saying No helps you from making poor decisions. This tactic can help you stay focused and prevent unnecessary complexity and wrong turns.

2. Bend, Don’t Break

Learning to flexible and adaptable to life challenges and roadblocks build courage and resilience. This in turn makes one confident. You will be like a bamboo during storms. The roots are firmly in the ground but the bamboo bends in the direction of the wind. They rarely break. Changing your game plan and letting go will be easy, when things don’t go your way.

3. Saying NO

Choose one thing that you have been avoiding. The one thing that makes you uncomfortable. Write down what do you need to do to take the next step. Maybe reading more about it or asking for help. This way an understanding can be developed about the situation.

Starting today, why not challenge yourself to celebrate each encounter with fear as an opportunity to strengthen your courage muscles and grow your confidence

15 Qualities of AUDACIOUS SUCCESSFUL Women

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 March 6, 2017

AUDACIOUS SUCCESSFUL Women

Audacious women are successful. I have witnessed so many women online, professional women, celebrities, women in my life, I have read about them, watched them on TV. Audacious women who inspire me are Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah, Jane Goodman, Amelia Earhart, Junko Tabei, Zinc heroes – Sister Sudha Varghese, Coco Chanel, unlikely heroes, dreamers, and doers. These are ordinary women with extraordinary qualities.

Here are their extraordinary qualities that I think are common to these powerful ordinary women:

  1. They have big dreams
  2. They are confident and highly curious
  3. They believe in themselves
  4. They live by their own rules
  5. They are alive and full of vitality
  6. They are highly motivated
  7. They don’t sweat the small stuff
  8. They just do it – Keeping it simple and organised
  9. They understand the duality of failure and success
  10. They take themselves seriously – consistent and persistent
  11. They are continually learning and flexible
  12. They understand connection is currency
  13. They know where and how to direct their energies in life.
  14. They play on their strengths and talents
  15. They continually challenge themselves to new success stories

 

These audacious women are seemingly tireless, relentlessly dedicated and endlessly curious. There’s always more, always better, always further to go further to reach further to climb…

The amazing part of this whole story is that these ladies are just like you and me (ordinary). Their extraordinary lives were not handed to them on a silver platter. They struggled, strained & stressed on their journey to success. They are ordinary people living extraordinary lives. They’re highly intelligent and sharply focused. From a distance, it may seem they have magical powers or come across as superwoman. But they ordinary women with extraordinary character and mind.

They have clarity of mind, strength of character and surety of passion & purpose.

Are you an Audacious Successful Woman?

CHEERS TO AUDACIOUS SUCCESSFUL WOMEN

May we Know them,

May we Be them

May we Raise them

15 Things Successful Women STOP DOING

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 March 3, 2017
15 things successful women stop doing

15 Things Successful Women STOP DOING

Stop doing what you doing if it’s not working!

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein

Learning from your experience is such a powerful skill. Many successful women acquire a “realisation” (over time) – they stop the old way of doing things. It’s a moment of splendour, insight and a huge AHA moment. It’s so great to be in this space. Can you imagine the possibilities and opportunities for new dreams and goals?

Here are the universal lessons that successful smart women learn and grasp. Its these insights that drive them to thrive in life. Propel them to flourish and prosper.

Successful women STOP …

  1. Doing things, the old way that did not work
  2. Relying on the outer world for validation and approval
  3. Being all things to all people
  4. Complaining , comparing and being a copycat
  5. Trying to be perfect
  6. Trusting anybody or anything that seems too perfect
  7. Focusing on short gratification and keep their sight on their long-term vision
  8. Being distracted by short term disruptions and instant results
  9. Trying to change other people
  10. Assuming and expecting. They act, measure, revolve, adjust & move forward.
  11. Doing everything themselves. They learn to delegate and ask for help.
  12. Letting circumstances define them.
  13. Blaming others and themselves for their mistakes. They acknowledge, accept learn and move on
  14. Carelessly and thoughtlessly trusting the venture. They gather relevant information that would impact them personally
  15. Pleasing others. They remain true to their own self, values and ethics

Smart successful women are not superwoman. They are human like you and me. They mess up like you and me. These women feel the pain of messing up like you and me. Smart women don’t want to experience pain again. They are willing to understand what caused it, change their game plan never to repeat it again……

What are you willing to stop doing to be successful?

Being a Real Woman Today

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 January 12, 2017
10 ways to relax

Being a Real Woman Today

What does that mean?

Modern society has evolved where a woman is expected to be SuperWoman. She is a mother, wife, daughter, friend, boss, career woman, housekeeper, chef, ….. These demands can really break a woman down, and that’s why we should forget about society definition of being a real woman today.

A REAL WOMAN TODAY …

  1. Lives in the present day.Today is the most interesting and important day for her.
  2. Celebrates being a real woman
  3. A real woman doesn’t chase happiness.
  4. Cultivates her femininity internally (emotions, feelings, thoughts) and externally (body, clothing, behaviour).
  5. Lives at her own pace.
  6. Makes her dreams and desires come true
  7. Healthy appretite for life and for fun
  8. She is her own #1 fan
  9. Is able to support, help, and empathise with others.
  10. A real woman has her own life goals; she creates and achieves them.
  11. Doesn’t live by a ’checklist’ given by society
  12. She stopped being the ‘good girl’ long ago
  13. A real woman loves and appreciates being alone
  14. Ages gracefully. Loving her age.
  15. She knows that every age has its own beauty, sexuality, and charm.

THIS IS MY VERSION of BEING A REAL WOMAN TODAY

Over to you.

What is your definition of being a real woman today?

Please comment below to let us know your perspective

My Happiness Manifesto

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 March 20, 2016
I choose Happiness

Today is International Day of Happiness and I am writing my Happiness Manifesto

My friend dared me to write my own happiness manifesto. So I’m picking up the gauntlet she threw down and writing my own Happiness Manifesto. With that… I promise that I love myself enough to do the following to the best of my ability at any given moment:

My HAPPINESS MANIFESTO

Say YES to Life daily

Choose love and happiness—first, last, and always

Say no to drama in my own life Laugh–unabashedly. Sing–LOUDLY. Dance–BOLDLY

Live from my heart

Make memories – Connect with people

Apologize and forgive to maintain inner peace

Give myself permission to feel what I am feeling

Eat well and exercise

Relax and breathe deeply to manage stress

Live simply

Embrace on being happier

Do you what I love doing

Embrace my story, my power and be courageous

Smile often and be kind

Be silly. Read–everything

Grow flowers.

Hang out only with people who uplift my spirit

Not get stuck in a rut of self-doubt or self-recrimination

Not judge how other people live their lives

Intentionally make time for play and fun

Trust in myself and others

Believe in the good in people

Be vulnerable

Be generous and helpful

Watch less TV

Eat lots of chocolate

Cook, both simply and extravagantly.

Explore, discover and Travel

Dream big and bold

Wear ALL the colors. Be sparkly–in clothing and in spirit.

Inspire others to laugh and hope and love

Believe everything will be okay and work out

I Choose Happiness!

What do you choose?

What’s your manifesto look like?

Don’t have one. Try it. It’s pretty easy once you set your pen to paper. Post your manifesto on your page and link it here, or just post it in the comments. I’d love to read it, and with each manifesto we’re changing the world.

 

 

60 Things That Make Me Happy

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 March 1, 2016

60 Things that make me happy

Happiness is achievable. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is an attitude.

We all strive to be happy. At any moment in our lives, we can change our minds and choose to be happy.

One way that we can uplift us to happy is by creating a list of things that make us happy. You thinking another list. Trust me…. just go with this.

This is a great motivational tool and reminder that we can use when we are feeling down. It’s a great up in down times. Just pick something from your personal list when you need to feel happy or just need a pick-me-up.

Of course, what makes me happy will not be the same as what makes you happy. Only you can explore and discover “What Makes You Happy?”

I thought that I would share with you my own personal list of things that happy up my life (in no particular order):

  1. Love chatting to people
  2. Cooking up a feast in the kitchen
  3. Colouring in complex intricate Mandalas
  4. Chocolate! Yeah yummy dark chocolate
  5. Having a family that loves me no matter what and knowing that they will be there for me when I need them.
  6.  Knowing that my parents are still with US
  7.  Knowing that I have the ability to support myself
  8.  Having friends who put up with my moody side
  9. Being able to write articles that touch other people.
  10. Taking up writing again and publishing articles on my own site – www.artofhappiness.institute
  11.  Learning something new excites me
  12. Helping someone solve a problem in their life, especially if it’s something that has been an issue for a long time.
  13. Being given a compliment
  14. Having someone say Yes to me when I was absolutely certain that they would say No.
  15. Being debt-free and not owing any money to anyone.
  16. Going to see a movie with my best friend.
  17. Being asked for advice because someone respects my opinion.
  18. Sleeping in on a Sunday morning and not having any firm plans for the day.
  19. It makes me happy knowing that I’ve travelled to some places in the world that others haven’t.
  20. Watching obscene amounts of television without a trace of shame
  21. Getting an email or a call telling me how something I’ve written has helped them.
  22. Smelling freshly-mown grass and feeling it under my bare feet.
  23. Being pleasantly surprised by someone special.
  24. Doing what I want how I want in my own space. HEAVEN
  25. Going out to dinner with friends.
  26. Working on my site and knowing that I’m making a difference.
  27. Receiving a phone call from a friend out of the blue and talking to them for hours.
  28. Sitting in the garden and reading
  29. Knowing that I graduated university and that no one can take my knowledge and wisdom
  30. Going on a picnic on a nice warm summer day.
  31. Taking care of myself with kindness and love
  32. Knowing that I am not just sitting around, but am actively working on creating my dreams
  33. Calling someone who I’ve been thinking of.
  34. Attending a musical that makes me happy
  35. Being appreciated and feeling that what I do makes a difference.
  36. Having supportive friends who give me great advice when I particularly need it.
  37. Having clean, crisp sheets on my bed.
  38. Being inside when there’s a thunderstorm outside. Being able to watch thunder and lightning and seeing the magnificence of mother nature.
  39. Recognizing some Spanish and French phrases and being able to speak it a little bit.
  40. Chatting up unlikely heroes, dreamers, and doers.
  41. Being appreciated for who I am and not what I can give.
  42. Decorating my home, the way that I want it decorated and painted.
  43. Making dinner for people that I love.
  44. It makes me happy knowing that I don’t have any major health concerns
  45. Three or four-day long weekends.
  46. I am capable and quite self-sufficient eg can change a flat tyre
  47. Having a clean house to come to
  48. Realizing that what I thought was so hard years ago, didn’t turn out to be so hard after all.
  49. Knowing that no matter what, I can figure things out. I will be okay
  50. Being able to spoil my family.
  51. Laughing and just being silly.
  52. Doing something that I thought I would never get the courage to do.
  53. Dressing up and showing up
  54. Going to the store and buying my favourite foods,
  55. Watching my favourite comedy shows
  56. Reading a new book and being wonderfully surprised.
  57. Accepting that it’s okay to mess up, learn and grow as a person.
  58. Giving what I can to other people who are less fortunate than I am.
  59. A good night’s sleep! Beauty Sleep! Deep Sound Sleep!
  60. Being creative and making something beautiful with my hands.

This is my personal list of what makes me happy.

Create your own list and share with us one or two things that make you happy

Power of I AM ….

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 15, 2016
POWER OF I AM

I AM is the expressions all about you.

The power of I am really makes you feel great or makes you feel totally yukkie.

The power of I am can make your day or spoil your day

The power of I am can make a day of wonder or a day of disappointment

The power of I am can create adventures or leave you on the side-lines

The power of I am can create meaning or leaves you empty

The power of I am ……….what?

What is your I am? Does it empower you or discourage you?

I AM is the expressions all about you.

I AM is one of the most important aspect of self-belief. It’s the driving factor in life. The ‘I AM’ decides which road to take. How the journey will be. Which spot to stop to look and admire. Which spot to drive pass and just take a glance. Sometimes just looking at the road and missing the beauty of the journey and drive. The ‘I AM’ determines how fast you go. You pass a detour – ‘I AM’ will decide to navigate the unknown route or just take the safe path. Within comfort zones.

Throughout life you’ve been through conditioning that created a mind-set overflowing with I am nots. As a schoolchild with a less than satisfactory grades, you thought to yourself, I am not smart. You place anywhere other than number one and tell yourself, I am not talented. You get told over & over that you have such great potential for all your projects. Never a word of well done. You feel criticized and believe that I am not good at anything!

You look in the mirror and compare yourself to a glamorous models tell yourself, I am not beautiful. You not asked out to the prom and you think, I am unloved or I am unworthy. These, and many many more like these I am nots, are repeated throughout your developmental years and into adulthood, and become your ingrained core defining self-perception.

Overcoming this I am not attitude begins with trusting your inner world. There are no boundaries restricting your inner world. But your worldview and your self-concept in the outer world are defined by your five senses.

How to get in touch with your I AM ….

  1. Run through a large list as you can of the things that you would like to define your life.
  2. Then make the shift in your imagination from ‘I am not or I am hoping to become’ to I am. You want what follows I am to be congruent with your highest self.
  3. Beginning with your inner dialogue, simply change the words that define your concept of yourself.

Eg. Instead of I am incapable of getting a job, shift to I am capable.

I am unlucky in love is replaced by I am love.

I am unworthy of happiness becomes I am happiness.

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What is your I am? Does it empower you or discourage you?

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