Sensitivity in our modern world is an uncomfortable thing. Its denial borders on amusing.
Yet in the depths of human needs, we all crave for sensitivity and care. Without it we would be lost.
Like you, I have struggled with sensitivity all my life. I still get baffled how to fit sensitivity into my world. Life gets complicated at times when navigating through life. I was influenced by a culture where sensitivity is defined as a weakness and showing emotion as a social embarrassment. I married into this as well. Culturally where it’s inappropriate to experience or express sensitivity. This is all that I knew at the time.
I also stayed in the corporate world just so that I had some form of identity and recognition. A false sense of power and strength. But it was cold place for me to be. My sensitivity screamed at me every day. Its not who you are! My soul whispered let go.
This reminds me: many years ago, a homeopath looked at me and told me to leave the corporate world. “It’s just too harsh for your soul, darling.” A sweet wise old lady. I never took her seriously. I was too busy being a corporate person. I got lost in this world. In a world of “suck it up, get over yourself, toughen up or stop being too sensitive” were the norm. My sensitivity never gave up on me. I began my journey on discovering what being sensitive meant to me.
Sensitivity is My Strength
It’s all about embracing and accepting my deep feelings. Not fighting them! All my life I repressed or avoided my feelings. Avoided the world/life, uncomfortable situations or people. It was a journey of empowering myself every time I get sensitive about a situation or person. I ask myself – what was my contribution to this event? Whose drama is this? Does it add value to my life?
This way I was not denying or repressing my emotions. I was empowering myself. Instead of getting angry or feeling guilty or stupid I found a peaceful response to my emotions. But there was still something off-balance inside me. I did not know how to take care of me. Love and nourish me. I always believed that it was the other persons job to love me and take care of me. To my astonishment it was not going be.
I slowly started on the journey of self-love and nourishment. (Louise Hay my sensitivity saviour). I found the simple truths of trust and faith. I found my port of safety and security. Where I can anchor my sensitivity. This I found in meditation and laughter yoga. Discovering an inner calmness! An inner strength!
Navigating the World
Navigating the world as a highly sensitive person (HSP) can be very traumatic. This can leave you feeling not so good about yourself. Not worthy of many things in life. Sometimes we are not aware of this behaviour. We build barriers to protect ourselves from this harsh reality of the world we travel.
To find my sense of self and remove the layers of trauma, I left my corporate job and started doing laughter yoga workshops. Taking one risk at a time. Starting with small groups of workshops. I started to feel a sense of belonging a sense of self. I got curious about being me in this world. Hey, I oscillate between being seen and hiding. Part of me is still afraid of being labelled or boxed into some cliché.
The good news is that a HSP can remove the layers of pain and hurt. Be surprised what you can discover about yourself. The journey is not an easy one. The tagline “You are worth it” comes to mind.
Also, this digital age desperately needs sensitive people. HSP people have the gift of connecting, caring and empathising.