Archive for Fear

Stop Suppressing Your Emotions

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 December 8, 2019

You are a grown woman! Right?

You know how to manage your emotions! Wow that is great!

When you feel anger, sadness, disappointment, rejected, jealous, panicky anxious, and so on, what do you do? You run away from these emotions because they are uncomfortable. You dislike the pain its causes and you suppress your emotions.

After all, that is what you’ve have been taught since childhood

Stop crying. Shut up. Don’t talk. Stop Whining. Go to your room.

Over the years, you hold back your tears, shut your mouth and feelings. There is just no room to express these feelings. So, you spend your entire life in a self-made jail.

This is how you learned to suppress your emotions and thoughts.

Suppressing your emotions is not the best way to manage your emotions. In fact, it can hurt you the following ways:

  1. Living on the side-lines
  2. Lack of desire to do fun things or new things
  3. Lack of commitment in general
  4. Start things don’t finish anything
  5. Disruptive sleeping patterns
  6. Mental anxiety and fatigue
  7. Binge on comfort food
  8. Digestive problems
  9. Lack of focus
  10. Self-doubt and uncertainty
  11. Low self-worth
  12. Lack of healthy personal boundaries
  13. Feeling of unhappiness
  14. Disconnected from Self
  15. Relationship difficulties

Hey there, don’t be glum!

Here are 3 ways that you can learn to express your feelings and thoughts:

  1. Express all your feelings in a journal. Free form. No rules on how you should write or in what order. No editing or judgement. This can be done as a daily practice or ritual before bed or in the morning.
  2. Find an activity to let of steam when feeling angry or upset. Attend a kick-boxing class or Zumba class.
  3. You are human and it’s okay to have these negative feelings. You are not a bad person for having these feelings and thoughts. Go for therapy or hire a life coach make sense of these emotions and thoughts. Get curious and explore & discover way these emotions can serve in your life.

You Human

It’s time you stop suppressing your emotions & thoughts as you always have.

You are human and you will feel full range of emotions. Got That!

There is a difference between suppressing and managing your emotions. Suppressing emotions leads to a mediocre & dull life. Managing emotions leads to an empowered and exciting life.

Stop boxing yourself in a cage.  

Break free and allow yourself to feel/think and express.

 

Your Sensitivity is Your Strength

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 16, 2019
Sensitvity

Sensitivity in our modern world is an uncomfortable thing. Its denial borders on amusing.

Yet in the depths of human needs, we all crave for sensitivity and care. Without it we would be lost.

Like you, I have struggled with sensitivity all my life. I still get baffled how to fit sensitivity into my world. Life gets complicated at times when navigating through life. I was influenced by a culture where sensitivity is defined as a weakness and showing emotion as a social embarrassment. I married into this as well. Culturally where it’s inappropriate to experience or express sensitivity. This is all that I knew at the time.

I also stayed in the corporate world just so that I had some form of identity and recognition. A false sense of power and strength. But it was cold place for me to be. My sensitivity screamed at me every day. Its not who you are! My soul whispered let go.

This reminds me: many years ago, a homeopath looked at me and told me to leave the corporate world. “It’s just too harsh for your soul, darling.” A sweet wise old lady. I never took her seriously. I was too busy being a corporate person. I got lost in this world. In a world of “suck it up, get over yourself, toughen up or stop being too sensitive” were the norm. My sensitivity never gave up on me. I began my journey on discovering what being sensitive meant to me.

Sensitivity is My Strength

It’s all about embracing and accepting my deep feelings. Not fighting them! All my life I repressed or avoided my feelings. Avoided the world/life, uncomfortable situations or people. It was a journey of empowering myself every time I get sensitive about a situation or person. I ask myself – what was my contribution to this event? Whose drama is this? Does it add value to my life?

This way I was not denying or repressing my emotions. I was empowering myself. Instead of getting angry or feeling guilty or stupid I found a peaceful response to my emotions. But there was still something off-balance inside me. I did not know how to take care of me. Love and nourish me. I always believed that it was the other persons job to love me and take care of me. To my astonishment it was not going be.

I slowly started on the journey of self-love and nourishment. (Louise Hay my sensitivity saviour). I found the simple truths of trust and faith. I found my port of safety and security. Where I can anchor my sensitivity. This I found in meditation and laughter yoga. Discovering an inner calmness! An inner strength!

Navigating the World

Navigating the world as a highly sensitive person (HSP) can be very traumatic. This can leave you feeling not so good about yourself. Not worthy of many things in life. Sometimes we are not aware of this behaviour. We build barriers to protect ourselves from this harsh reality of the world we travel.

To find my sense of self and remove the layers of trauma, I left my corporate job and started doing laughter yoga workshops. Taking one risk at a time. Starting with small groups of workshops. I started to feel a sense of belonging a sense of self. I got curious about being me in this world. Hey, I oscillate between being seen and hiding. Part of me is still afraid of being labelled or boxed into some cliché.

The good news is that a HSP can remove the layers of pain and hurt. Be surprised what you can discover about yourself. The journey is not an easy one. The tagline “You are worth it” comes to mind.

Also, this digital age desperately needs sensitive people. HSP people have the gift of connecting, caring and empathising.

I encourage you to show up as your sensitive self. Its your strength.

7 Steps to Deal with Doubt

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 March 23, 2018
Deal with Doubt

Life is ever changing and full of uncertainties and doubt. No matter the level of change, uncertainty is simply a part of life. Learning to embrace uncertainty is the key dealing with doubt. When we can’t embrace change and uncertainty is usually leads to feelings of doubt & disappointment . This can make life very difficult.

Doubt sabotages your chances for a happy and fulfilling life.

Doubt includes being self-critical, worrying, lack of trust & conviction, suspicious, indecisiveness, confusion and uncertainty. Most people suffer in silence. Its suffocates your confidence and undermines your abilities in life.

Yes! you can manage self-doubt but it’s a tough road and requires lots of effort. The benefits are far outweighing the effort you need to put in. You will boost your confidence on this journey and raise your self-esteem at the same time. It will be a worthy road trip. Trust me. I am speaking from personal experience with second guessing myself.

 7 Steps to Deal with Doubt

  1. Do one thing at a time. No multitasking
  2. Set smaller goals that you can manage
  3. Surround yourself with supporting & encouraging people
  4. Question your incertitude if its valid or not
  5. Everytime you make excuses or tell stories to avoid acting, write down all the possibilities if you did not have doubt
  6. Get a mentor to hold you accountable for your goals and actions
  7. Write down all your past successes and start believing in yourself

Learn to embrace uncertainty and doubt

You will never be able to control everything in life, as life is full of uncertainties. However, you can always keep yourself prepared to face such uncertainties, obstacles or challenges by planning well, taking quick actions, being flexible, and being patient. Once you start embracing unknown and focusing on the possibilities along with the challenges, you will certainly be become a successful and confident woman who is able to leap any barrier and have a full, rewarding life and career.

Your turn…

How do you deal with being unsure ?  What’s the next smallest step you need to take to turn uncertainty into certainty?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.  We would love to hear from YOU.

11 Girl Boss Ignite Your Spirit Must Read Books

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 22, 2018
GIRLBOSS MUST READ BOOKS

Books! Books! Books! I love books

Holding a book, smelling its woody pages, sucking up the cover art and reading the personalised preface and acknowledgments. Wow! It invokes the imagination. It tantalises the senses and teases the brain.

Every word telling a story, transporting you to different realms and dimensions. Its invigorates the soul and spirit with every turn and twist of the words building into a story. Some words silently while others loudly blatantly thrilling, exciting, teasing as it reaches the depth of our beings.

I love romantic, psychological thrillers and obsessed with self-development books. I am a sucker for motivational types and all things that help me expand. I love to marinate in inspiration through books, specifically breakdown internal barriers, help instil vision and clarity and ignite your spirit type books.

If you’re a book type gal, I invite you to be inquisitive about them below. While I haven’t read all of them yet, I personally own all of them, and am steadily making my way through the stack. Each book was purchased either through a podcast, a blog post or a friend’s suggestion – I’m finding that the combined message between them all is, so you can get out there in the world and do what matters to you in ways that work for you.

The authors are helping readers learn to live it through vulnerability, creativity, heart, accountability and community.

So without further ado, below are 11 Inspirational, Girl Boss, Ignite Your Soul, Must-Read Books:

  1. Big Magic                                by Elizabeth Gilbert
  2. Playing Big                              by Tara Mohr
  3. Rising Strong                         by Brene Brown
  4. Leave Your Mark                   by Aliza Light
  5. The Universe has your Back   by Gabrielle Bernstein
  6. The Desire Map                      by Danielle LePort
  7. #Girlboss                                 by Sophia Amenise
  8. Make it Happen                      by Lara Casey
  9. You are a Badass                    by Jen Sincero
  10. Good to Great                         by Jim Collins
  11. The Confidence Code            by Kathy Kay & Claire Shipman

Alright girl bosses, are you feeling motivated and exhilarated?

You sure must be, because just writing this makes me want to read nonstop. Become a ferocious reader! Such Fun!

I hope you gathered some great inspiration here, possibly intrigued by a book or two. And are now starting on the incredible journey of creation, confidence, greatness, vulnerability, recognizing your self-worth, helping to create a vision for braver living, loving, and leading.

After Valentines Day

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 15, 2018
after valentines day

After Valentines day, were you one of the many incredible and amazing people that had an awful Valentine’s day. I can feel your pain and hurt. Did you dread the day and felt like it was the longest day that would just not end?

Are you feeling not good enough because you did not get flowers, chocolates or gift? No one declared their undying love for you! Do you feel like there is something wrong with you? That is BS. Biggest lie that we tell ourselves. These are all the negative thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves. I have made it my passion to replace: I am not good enough with positive thoughts and vibes.

One way of doing this is using positive affirmations. If you want to up your feel-good factor and confidence I suggest adding positive affirmations to your daily routine. They must be personal, feel sacred and special for you.

I have included my top 10 positive affirmations below as encouragement to create a powerful sentence that inspires you.

  • I love and accept myself just the way I am today
  • I am powerful now. I can achieve anything I put my mind to.
  • I accept and approve of my body
  • I am intelligent, capable and competent
  • I believe in myself and free to be me
  • I trust myself to make good choices in life
  • I allow and give myself permission to receive good things in my life
  • I am completely open to new experiences in life.
  • I am loving lovable and loved
  • I am worthy of love, joy and abundance

How to use your affirmation:

  1. Sit in a quiet place comfortably
  2. Take a deep breath in for a count of 4.
  3. Hold the breath for a count of 4.
  4. Slowly exhale for a count of 6 as you say the affirmation in your mind.
  5. Repeat this process 3 times to invite each affirmation to resonate and vibrate into your mind and body.

Observe your thoughts and feelings during the exercise. Any time you notice a negative thought pattern or feeling, repeat your affirmation. At the end of your session, repeat the breathing exercise you started with. Just breath 3 times – no affirmations. This will help internalise and reinforce your affirmations.

This entire process is to build confidence that your thoughts, feelings and your actions are in alignment.

Reflections…

Reality of life:  People will come and go.  Events will come and go.  Day and night will come and go.  But deep unconditional love for yourself will always remain with you, if you nurture and nourish it. Make it one of your most important priority in life.

Over to YOU…

How are positive affirmations working for you? Do you use affirmations in your life?

Let us know in the comment section

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Cope with Valentines Day?

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 13, 2018
valentines-day

Valentines day! Day of hearts, chocolates and flowers.

But its not all rosy for many people. It’s a traumatic and sad for many. The expectation set out by commercial establishments had people waiting in anticipation. Only to have their hearts broken. I was one of the people who fell for the glamour/illusion of Valentine’s day. My heart was ripped to pieces. Have you had a similar experience? Well let me tell you.

Do you know that you’re very special and unique? There is no other person like you. You deserve to be loved by the most important person in your life — YOU. We are celebrating the month of love starting with YOU.

(YOU MATTER YOU SMART YOU KIND YOU POWERFUL YOU ♥ HEART)

Practicing self-love can be tough for many of us, especially when it Valentines. There is so much emphasis on romantic love. It can be extremely lonely. The void and the emptiness are amplified. Your self-worth gets a knock and you feel so rejected by life.

Does that seem or sound like you? We are focusing on YOU and loving you. It’s not about being self-absorbed or self-centred, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our joy. We practice self-love, so we can break through our limiting beliefs. When you love yourself so deeply and unconditionally, magic happens. The loneliness and low self-worth disappears. You get so comfortable in your own skin that you do not need love and approval from outside. You may be wondering where to begin.

Below are 21 ways to love yourself: –loving yourself

 

 

 

  1. Start being honest with yourself about everything going on in your life.
  2. Accept where are right now in your life – without judgement
  3. Connect with your inner self and higher self
  4. Face your inner resistance, barriers and fears
  5. Be kind, compassionate towards yourself
  6. Forgive yourself and others
  7. Make peace with your past
  8. Start enjoying the things and relationships you already have
  9. Start dreaming and doing
  10. Start creating your own happiness – on your terms
  11. Build and nurture relationships where you feel appreciated and loved. Where you feel safe to be open and vulnerable
  12. Become the love you seek from other people
  13. Pay attention to your stress/worry/tension/anxiety levels and find ways to manage the stress/worry/tension/anxiety.
  14. Be yourself, genuinely and proudly
  15. Nurture and nourish your body
  16. Take care of your time, your space and your finances.
  17. Laugh more in life
  18. Find work and activities you love and that adds joy and meaning
  19. Believe in your abilities
  20. Find the positive during challenging times
  21. Flaunt your Flawsomeness!

Reflections….

Reality of life:  People will come and go.  Events will come and go.  Day and night will come and go.  But deep unconditional love for yourself will always remain with you, if you nurture and nourish it.

“Put these things on your TO-DO list today:

  1. Spend time doing things that help you love yourself more.
  2. Spend time with people who help you love yourself more.”

Over to YOU…

Are you ready to start loving yourself deeply and unconditionally?

Breath of Fresh Air

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 6, 2018
Breath of fresh air

When last did you get a breath of fresh air into your life? Body? Mind?

I had the privilege of attending a Breathwork Practitioner Course last weekend. I attended the course out of curiosity and to find new breathing methods to help my Trauma/Tension Release Clients. I use many breathing techniques to help my trauma clients relax deeply and to release the repressed trauma from their bodies. My simple curiosity turned into something profound and magical.

Art of Breathing

The breathing techniques were simple in theory but when diving deep into the breathing it revealed many things about my habits and the way my body responds to my thoughts and feelings. It supports me with every thought and feeling. I yawn when I need more oxygen in my body. My breathing becomes laboured during exercising. When I am stressed my breathing becomes short and quick. I sigh when my body is highly stressed, or I am frustrated.  I know you thinking yawning and sighing is being rude but its actually the body’s way to balancing itself. This level of awareness for me was so profound. I got so excited after discovering the magic of breath.

I know you wondering what is the big deal about breathing. It is a big deal. You have a natural gift that you can use to heal, energise and de-stress. Available and accessible to you anytime anywhere. Do you realise how powerful this is?

Let’s explore the Benefits of breathing deeply:

  1. Frees the Breath
  2. Relaxes the Body
  3. Clears the Mind
  4. Calms the Nerves
  5. Boosts Energy levels
  6. Improves Stamina
  7. Sharper Thinking
  8. Elevates Mood
  9. Increases Feel Good Factor
  10. Decreases Stress and Worry
  11. Heightens Alertness and Focus
  12. Improves Posture and Performance
  13. Detoxes the Body from Toxins
  14. Reduces Physical Pain
  15. Improves Response to Stress and Emotions during Challenging times

Breathing correctly means supplying your body with adequate oxygen and replenishing it with fresh air.

This way you navigate life with more vigour, vitality and verve.

Just Breath – (Happy Sigh)

 

Dealing with Disappointment

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 November 15, 2017
dealing with disappointment

Dealing with Disappointment

When last did you feel disappointment?

We experience Disappointment every day. It could be any incident in your life.

Maybe:

Your boss yelled at you for your monthly report, your friend did not pitch up for lunch, your mum did not like the gift, your hubby disliked your delicious meal you so excitedly prepared, you were overlooked for the promotion, the date was horrible, your business failed, your friend betrayed your confidence, your gained weight after all the healthy eating, your boyfriend had to work late on your birthday, and many more…

Disappointment makes you feel sad when things do not work-out as you expected. Some feel numb while others feel rejected. The bigger disappointments can hurt and wound deeply. It all depends how to deal with disappointments. It can affect your self-worth. But maybe not! Hmmm…

Art of Happiness Institute

Disappointment can be good for you. YES that’s correct! I tell you why:

  1. Its means you care deeply and are passionate about something. It’s a beautiful thing. These very emotions that drives you to do something. It motivates you to bring your dreams alive. An indication that you are in touch with your feelings
  2. Let-downs makes you resilient and stronger. I know you have read this so many times and it borders on cliché. But next time you will deal with disappointments in a better way and bounce back quicker because you understand the harsh feelings.
  3. Flops and failures create opportunities to grow (oops another cliché). Disappointments are caused by your expectations. Your expectations are based on your own set of assumptions. Now you have a great opportunity to revisit your assumption about the situation, self-belief and mind-set.  You can get your assumptions more aligned to the world. Finding new ways to achieve your desires. Gaining knowledge about yourself and your interaction with the world. Becoming a little wiser.

Your turn…

How do you deal with disappointment?  What’s the next smallest step you need to take to turn let-downs into opportunities?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.  We would love to hear from YOU.

 

 

We Breaking Up with Sugar

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 November 14, 2017
breaking up with sugar

I am BREAKING UP WITH SUGAR on this World Diabetes Day

breaking up with sugar

 

IT’S BEEN A GREAT LOVE AFFAIR.

Sugar has comforted me, consoled me, made me happy, celebrated life with me, boost me up when I was down. YES! I am still breaking with sugar! from a distance oh wow it’s the best relationship you could have, BUT EVERYTHING IS NOT ALL SWEET & SEXY ABOUT SUGAR. We were told sugar is harmless (I know and we believed it) My Dear Friends It’s a BIG FAT LIE! It causes weight gain, inflammation, exhaustion, etc. Oh, dear so many unhealthy things. It’s scary.

Let Break-Up with Sugar to feel great about ourselves. We don’t need to sugar to love ourselves. We don’t need sugar to celebrate life, we don’t need sugar to boost our energy. We don’t need sugar to make us happy.  I am doing this for ME. I am choosing health. I am committed to my health. What are you going to do for yourself?

The great love affair is over.

sugar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can make myself happy. I celebrate life in a new way. I have great friends, a new way of living and to keep myself motivated I am listing the reasons I am breaking up with sugar:

1.             CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN
2.              MAKES YOU HUNGRY
3.              LOWERS IMMUNITY
4.              MOOD IMBALANCES
5.              LOW ENERGY/FATIGUE
6.              INFLAMMATION
7.              DIGESTION ISSUES
8.              TOOTH DECAY AND CAVITIES
9.              DIABETES COMPLICATIONS
10.           HEART DISEASE/STROKE/METABOLIC SYNDROME
11.           CANCER
12.           KIDNEY DISEASE
13.           FATTY LIVER
14.           OSTEOPOROSIS
15.           HORMONE ISSUES
16.           ACCELERATED AGING

17.                  BRAIN FOG
18                   POOR MEMORY
19                   SLEEP ISSUES

 

If this does not convince you? What will?

So, Are you breaking up with Sugar?

Get Your Groove on with Happy Songs

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 August 2, 2017
Happy songs

Get Your Groove On with Happy Songs

Dance your blues away with Happy songs.

Happy Songs are an easy way to bring happiness into your life. Its universal, it can have an immediate effect  make you feel better quickly. Do you remember when you were a teenager, music was such a wonderful thing. You would close your door and dance so that no one can watch you. You felt so free and it was such an amazing way to just let go of all your worries and stress. Would you like to have the same feeling of coming alive? Feel happy? Have that ridiculous but cute smile on your face? Do you remember your favourite happy songs? The songs that awaken great memories. Make you feel alive. Make you feel light and energetic. Invoke Happy chemicals in the body and brain. Stir up joy and laughter within.

I dare you: Let your happy song flow  from your heart.

Here is my Happy Songs playlist. These songs uplift my mood, brings a smile to my face and my body comes alive.

 

Do you have Happy Songs? List them in the comment section.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGLof3IaV-VrANKisjJ8vJxgL3g38QTyA

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