Archive for worry

Your Sensitivity is Your Strength

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 16, 2019
Sensitvity

Sensitivity in our modern world is an uncomfortable thing. Its denial borders on amusing.

Yet in the depths of human needs, we all crave for sensitivity and care. Without it we would be lost.

Like you, I have struggled with sensitivity all my life. I still get baffled how to fit sensitivity into my world. Life gets complicated at times when navigating through life. I was influenced by a culture where sensitivity is defined as a weakness and showing emotion as a social embarrassment. I married into this as well. Culturally where it’s inappropriate to experience or express sensitivity. This is all that I knew at the time.

I also stayed in the corporate world just so that I had some form of identity and recognition. A false sense of power and strength. But it was cold place for me to be. My sensitivity screamed at me every day. Its not who you are! My soul whispered let go.

This reminds me: many years ago, a homeopath looked at me and told me to leave the corporate world. “It’s just too harsh for your soul, darling.” A sweet wise old lady. I never took her seriously. I was too busy being a corporate person. I got lost in this world. In a world of “suck it up, get over yourself, toughen up or stop being too sensitive” were the norm. My sensitivity never gave up on me. I began my journey on discovering what being sensitive meant to me.

Sensitivity is My Strength

It’s all about embracing and accepting my deep feelings. Not fighting them! All my life I repressed or avoided my feelings. Avoided the world/life, uncomfortable situations or people. It was a journey of empowering myself every time I get sensitive about a situation or person. I ask myself – what was my contribution to this event? Whose drama is this? Does it add value to my life?

This way I was not denying or repressing my emotions. I was empowering myself. Instead of getting angry or feeling guilty or stupid I found a peaceful response to my emotions. But there was still something off-balance inside me. I did not know how to take care of me. Love and nourish me. I always believed that it was the other persons job to love me and take care of me. To my astonishment it was not going be.

I slowly started on the journey of self-love and nourishment. (Louise Hay my sensitivity saviour). I found the simple truths of trust and faith. I found my port of safety and security. Where I can anchor my sensitivity. This I found in meditation and laughter yoga. Discovering an inner calmness! An inner strength!

Navigating the World

Navigating the world as a highly sensitive person (HSP) can be very traumatic. This can leave you feeling not so good about yourself. Not worthy of many things in life. Sometimes we are not aware of this behaviour. We build barriers to protect ourselves from this harsh reality of the world we travel.

To find my sense of self and remove the layers of trauma, I left my corporate job and started doing laughter yoga workshops. Taking one risk at a time. Starting with small groups of workshops. I started to feel a sense of belonging a sense of self. I got curious about being me in this world. Hey, I oscillate between being seen and hiding. Part of me is still afraid of being labelled or boxed into some cliché.

The good news is that a HSP can remove the layers of pain and hurt. Be surprised what you can discover about yourself. The journey is not an easy one. The tagline “You are worth it” comes to mind.

Also, this digital age desperately needs sensitive people. HSP people have the gift of connecting, caring and empathising.

I encourage you to show up as your sensitive self. Its your strength.

7 Steps to Deal with Doubt

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 March 23, 2018
Deal with Doubt

Life is ever changing and full of uncertainties and doubt. No matter the level of change, uncertainty is simply a part of life. Learning to embrace uncertainty is the key dealing with doubt. When we can’t embrace change and uncertainty is usually leads to feelings of doubt & disappointment . This can make life very difficult.

Doubt sabotages your chances for a happy and fulfilling life.

Doubt includes being self-critical, worrying, lack of trust & conviction, suspicious, indecisiveness, confusion and uncertainty. Most people suffer in silence. Its suffocates your confidence and undermines your abilities in life.

Yes! you can manage self-doubt but it’s a tough road and requires lots of effort. The benefits are far outweighing the effort you need to put in. You will boost your confidence on this journey and raise your self-esteem at the same time. It will be a worthy road trip. Trust me. I am speaking from personal experience with second guessing myself.

 7 Steps to Deal with Doubt

  1. Do one thing at a time. No multitasking
  2. Set smaller goals that you can manage
  3. Surround yourself with supporting & encouraging people
  4. Question your incertitude if its valid or not
  5. Everytime you make excuses or tell stories to avoid acting, write down all the possibilities if you did not have doubt
  6. Get a mentor to hold you accountable for your goals and actions
  7. Write down all your past successes and start believing in yourself

Learn to embrace uncertainty and doubt

You will never be able to control everything in life, as life is full of uncertainties. However, you can always keep yourself prepared to face such uncertainties, obstacles or challenges by planning well, taking quick actions, being flexible, and being patient. Once you start embracing unknown and focusing on the possibilities along with the challenges, you will certainly be become a successful and confident woman who is able to leap any barrier and have a full, rewarding life and career.

Your turn…

How do you deal with being unsure ?  What’s the next smallest step you need to take to turn uncertainty into certainty?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.  We would love to hear from YOU.

After Valentines Day

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 15, 2018
after valentines day

After Valentines day, were you one of the many incredible and amazing people that had an awful Valentine’s day. I can feel your pain and hurt. Did you dread the day and felt like it was the longest day that would just not end?

Are you feeling not good enough because you did not get flowers, chocolates or gift? No one declared their undying love for you! Do you feel like there is something wrong with you? That is BS. Biggest lie that we tell ourselves. These are all the negative thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves. I have made it my passion to replace: I am not good enough with positive thoughts and vibes.

One way of doing this is using positive affirmations. If you want to up your feel-good factor and confidence I suggest adding positive affirmations to your daily routine. They must be personal, feel sacred and special for you.

I have included my top 10 positive affirmations below as encouragement to create a powerful sentence that inspires you.

  • I love and accept myself just the way I am today
  • I am powerful now. I can achieve anything I put my mind to.
  • I accept and approve of my body
  • I am intelligent, capable and competent
  • I believe in myself and free to be me
  • I trust myself to make good choices in life
  • I allow and give myself permission to receive good things in my life
  • I am completely open to new experiences in life.
  • I am loving lovable and loved
  • I am worthy of love, joy and abundance

How to use your affirmation:

  1. Sit in a quiet place comfortably
  2. Take a deep breath in for a count of 4.
  3. Hold the breath for a count of 4.
  4. Slowly exhale for a count of 6 as you say the affirmation in your mind.
  5. Repeat this process 3 times to invite each affirmation to resonate and vibrate into your mind and body.

Observe your thoughts and feelings during the exercise. Any time you notice a negative thought pattern or feeling, repeat your affirmation. At the end of your session, repeat the breathing exercise you started with. Just breath 3 times – no affirmations. This will help internalise and reinforce your affirmations.

This entire process is to build confidence that your thoughts, feelings and your actions are in alignment.

Reflections…

Reality of life:  People will come and go.  Events will come and go.  Day and night will come and go.  But deep unconditional love for yourself will always remain with you, if you nurture and nourish it. Make it one of your most important priority in life.

Over to YOU…

How are positive affirmations working for you? Do you use affirmations in your life?

Let us know in the comment section

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Cope with Valentines Day?

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 13, 2018
valentines-day

Valentines day! Day of hearts, chocolates and flowers.

But its not all rosy for many people. It’s a traumatic and sad for many. The expectation set out by commercial establishments had people waiting in anticipation. Only to have their hearts broken. I was one of the people who fell for the glamour/illusion of Valentine’s day. My heart was ripped to pieces. Have you had a similar experience? Well let me tell you.

Do you know that you’re very special and unique? There is no other person like you. You deserve to be loved by the most important person in your life — YOU. We are celebrating the month of love starting with YOU.

(YOU MATTER YOU SMART YOU KIND YOU POWERFUL YOU ♥ HEART)

Practicing self-love can be tough for many of us, especially when it Valentines. There is so much emphasis on romantic love. It can be extremely lonely. The void and the emptiness are amplified. Your self-worth gets a knock and you feel so rejected by life.

Does that seem or sound like you? We are focusing on YOU and loving you. It’s not about being self-absorbed or self-centred, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our joy. We practice self-love, so we can break through our limiting beliefs. When you love yourself so deeply and unconditionally, magic happens. The loneliness and low self-worth disappears. You get so comfortable in your own skin that you do not need love and approval from outside. You may be wondering where to begin.

Below are 21 ways to love yourself: –loving yourself

 

 

 

  1. Start being honest with yourself about everything going on in your life.
  2. Accept where are right now in your life – without judgement
  3. Connect with your inner self and higher self
  4. Face your inner resistance, barriers and fears
  5. Be kind, compassionate towards yourself
  6. Forgive yourself and others
  7. Make peace with your past
  8. Start enjoying the things and relationships you already have
  9. Start dreaming and doing
  10. Start creating your own happiness – on your terms
  11. Build and nurture relationships where you feel appreciated and loved. Where you feel safe to be open and vulnerable
  12. Become the love you seek from other people
  13. Pay attention to your stress/worry/tension/anxiety levels and find ways to manage the stress/worry/tension/anxiety.
  14. Be yourself, genuinely and proudly
  15. Nurture and nourish your body
  16. Take care of your time, your space and your finances.
  17. Laugh more in life
  18. Find work and activities you love and that adds joy and meaning
  19. Believe in your abilities
  20. Find the positive during challenging times
  21. Flaunt your Flawsomeness!

Reflections….

Reality of life:  People will come and go.  Events will come and go.  Day and night will come and go.  But deep unconditional love for yourself will always remain with you, if you nurture and nourish it.

“Put these things on your TO-DO list today:

  1. Spend time doing things that help you love yourself more.
  2. Spend time with people who help you love yourself more.”

Over to YOU…

Are you ready to start loving yourself deeply and unconditionally?

Breath of Fresh Air

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 February 6, 2018
Breath of fresh air

When last did you get a breath of fresh air into your life? Body? Mind?

I had the privilege of attending a Breathwork Practitioner Course last weekend. I attended the course out of curiosity and to find new breathing methods to help my Trauma/Tension Release Clients. I use many breathing techniques to help my trauma clients relax deeply and to release the repressed trauma from their bodies. My simple curiosity turned into something profound and magical.

Art of Breathing

The breathing techniques were simple in theory but when diving deep into the breathing it revealed many things about my habits and the way my body responds to my thoughts and feelings. It supports me with every thought and feeling. I yawn when I need more oxygen in my body. My breathing becomes laboured during exercising. When I am stressed my breathing becomes short and quick. I sigh when my body is highly stressed, or I am frustrated.  I know you thinking yawning and sighing is being rude but its actually the body’s way to balancing itself. This level of awareness for me was so profound. I got so excited after discovering the magic of breath.

I know you wondering what is the big deal about breathing. It is a big deal. You have a natural gift that you can use to heal, energise and de-stress. Available and accessible to you anytime anywhere. Do you realise how powerful this is?

Let’s explore the Benefits of breathing deeply:

  1. Frees the Breath
  2. Relaxes the Body
  3. Clears the Mind
  4. Calms the Nerves
  5. Boosts Energy levels
  6. Improves Stamina
  7. Sharper Thinking
  8. Elevates Mood
  9. Increases Feel Good Factor
  10. Decreases Stress and Worry
  11. Heightens Alertness and Focus
  12. Improves Posture and Performance
  13. Detoxes the Body from Toxins
  14. Reduces Physical Pain
  15. Improves Response to Stress and Emotions during Challenging times

Breathing correctly means supplying your body with adequate oxygen and replenishing it with fresh air.

This way you navigate life with more vigour, vitality and verve.

Just Breath – (Happy Sigh)

 

Dealing with Disappointment

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 November 15, 2017
dealing with disappointment

Dealing with Disappointment

When last did you feel disappointment?

We experience Disappointment every day. It could be any incident in your life.

Maybe:

Your boss yelled at you for your monthly report, your friend did not pitch up for lunch, your mum did not like the gift, your hubby disliked your delicious meal you so excitedly prepared, you were overlooked for the promotion, the date was horrible, your business failed, your friend betrayed your confidence, your gained weight after all the healthy eating, your boyfriend had to work late on your birthday, and many more…

Disappointment makes you feel sad when things do not work-out as you expected. Some feel numb while others feel rejected. The bigger disappointments can hurt and wound deeply. It all depends how to deal with disappointments. It can affect your self-worth. But maybe not! Hmmm…

Art of Happiness Institute

Disappointment can be good for you. YES that’s correct! I tell you why:

  1. Its means you care deeply and are passionate about something. It’s a beautiful thing. These very emotions that drives you to do something. It motivates you to bring your dreams alive. An indication that you are in touch with your feelings
  2. Let-downs makes you resilient and stronger. I know you have read this so many times and it borders on cliché. But next time you will deal with disappointments in a better way and bounce back quicker because you understand the harsh feelings.
  3. Flops and failures create opportunities to grow (oops another cliché). Disappointments are caused by your expectations. Your expectations are based on your own set of assumptions. Now you have a great opportunity to revisit your assumption about the situation, self-belief and mind-set.  You can get your assumptions more aligned to the world. Finding new ways to achieve your desires. Gaining knowledge about yourself and your interaction with the world. Becoming a little wiser.

Your turn…

How do you deal with disappointment?  What’s the next smallest step you need to take to turn let-downs into opportunities?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.  We would love to hear from YOU.

 

 

15 Stress Busting Tips

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 April 12, 2017

15 Stress Busting Tips

Stress Busting is really needed in today’s fast paced world. Stress is something that everybody deals in their lives. The right dose of stress can actually be good for us. It can make us perform better when needed.

However, if you are in constant state of anxiety and stress it can begin to take its toll, physically, mentally and emotionally. To live a happy and healthy life we need to learn how to deal with stress effectively. I used to get stressed out about so many things, some of which were nothing to stress out about at all. Over the years though, I have learnt many techniques and tools that help me effectively deal with stressful times in my life.

So next time you feel that stress creeping in, try out some of my stress-busting tips. I’d love to share them with you, because although they might seem like common sense, you’d be surprised how many of them you simply aren’t doing.

My 15 Stress Busting Tips:  

  1. Manage your time effectively & Prep for tomorrow.
  2. Change to a healthy lifestyle – Eat, Exercise and Rest Well
  3. Know your limitations and learn to say NO
  4. Avoid unnecessary conflict
  5. Label your negative feelings causing stress – write it down.
  6. Unplug from cellphone, email, text messages, internet
  7. Accept the things you cannot change
  8. Laugh Out Loud
  9. Meditate to relieve stress
  10. Turn up the tunes and dance the stress away
  11. Take care of yourself  to recharge your batteries
  12. Recall one good thing that happened on that day.
  13. Find time to meet friends and have some fun
  14. Try to see things differently, develop a positive thinking style
  15. Avoid alcohol, nicotine and caffeine as coping mechanisms

Over to You

How do you manage your stress levels?

Please let us know. Don’t be shy. Insert your stress buster in the comments section. We would love to hear from you.

1 Simple Phrase that will Change Your Thinking

Posted by Anjana Lala on
 April 3, 2017
One Simple Phrase that will Change Your THinking

One Simple Powerful Phrase that Will Change Your Thinking.

Yes! You are reading correctly. I know it sounds unrealistic and sounds too good to be true Let me elaborate.

Every day we experience life. These experiences develop into little stories. The stories that impact us the most (positive and negative) are stored internally. They entail details of our experiences, about people, places and about life in general. The stories significantly impact how we feel. If the stories are positive, we tend to feel good. If the stories are negative, we tend to lose hope.

The stories we tell ourselves don’t just influence how we feel – they alter what we see, what we experience, and what we know to be true. This is one of the primary reasons multiple people can go through the same experience, but explain it differently. E.g. People witness the same accident but the details will be different – feeling, colour, texture, behaviour, etc. Each of us may enter a shared experience with a different story echoing through our mind. Our unique story – our inner dialogue – alters the way we feel every step of the way, and so each of us exits this shared experience with a slightly different feeling about what just happened.

If we want to get on the same page with one another, and garner a better understanding of reality, we must do a little work.

Perspective is Everything – Blindfold people and put an elephant in front of them – each person’s interpretation.

PerspectiveOur wide-range of different painful past experiences: Being deeply heartbroken, lost our parents, siblings or children to accidents and illnesses, dealt with infidelity, fired from jobs discriminated against for various reasons, being bullied, etc. At times, we experience a situation that triggers our painful story from the past, it shifts our perspective in the present – it narrows it.

It’s just a defence mechanism to protect us from uncertainty and fear. Our mind does not like the discomfort of uncertainty and fear. So, our mind uses the information from our past stories to eliminate the doubts and fears. Our old stories and past experiences are filters to make better sense of everything in the present. And while this approach works sometimes, other times our old stories and past experiences hinder us.

This is where a little reframing helps us move forward. Reframing tools have been proven to change our thoughts and stretch our perspectives. Today, I want to take a brief look at one of these reframing tools with you…

1 Simple Phrase that can change your thinking:

“There is a real possibility that …” – A Reframing Tool

Many of the biggest misunderstandings in life could be avoided if we would simply take the time to ask, Is there another side to the story.

Here’s how it works…

“There is a real possibility that …” can be applied to any life situation,

For example, perhaps your boyfriend didn’t call you in the morning like they said they would. You’re feeling upset because you’re obviously not important to him. When you catch, yourself feeling this way, use the phrase:

“The story I am telling myself is that he didn’t call me because I’m not important to him.”

Then ask yourself:

  1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
  2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
  3. How do I feel and behave, what happens, when i believe that thought or story?

Give yourself the space to think it all through with an open mind and kindness.

“I don’t know why he has not called yet, but there is a real possibility that…”

  1. “…he is extremely busy at work.”
  2. “…he had an early meeting so he switched off his phone.”
  3. “…his phone battery is dead.”
  4. “…forgot his phone in the car.”
  5. Etc.

Challenge Yourself to Think Differently

“There is a real possibility that…” and the three related questions gives you a tool for revisiting and reframing confusing situations that arise in your life. Detach yourself from the stories you’re telling yourself. Go deeper into reality. Don’t just look at the surface. Explore. Observe without presuming. Discover. With an objective mindset, which allows you to make better decisions and choices about everything.

So, challenge yourself to use this tool… to think differently.

“Who knows what you’ll see when you stop looking through a lens drastically narrowed by half-truths, and you start seeing things with a clearer mind. Maybe you’ll start seeing things you never saw before. Maybe you’ll start experiencing things you never experienced before. Maybe you’ll learn lots of new lessons you needed to learn. And maybe you’ll gradually become the person you always knew you could be.”

Thought for the Road…

At the very least, I hope this post reminds you that positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time – it’s about accepting what happens every moment, being aware and objective, and making the very best of every situation.

Think Better Do Better Live Better!

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